Bil Keane
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm

Bil Keane
God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'supposed to be a happy time'.

Calvin Coolidge
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Charles Dickens
That vague kind of penitence which holidays awaken next morning.

Dave Barry
During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true "vacation paradise," offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey.

Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Erma Bombeck
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.

Henry Ward Beecher
The one great poem of New England is her Sunday