MEDICINE QUOTES

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair… and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

Now like every American boy I had always been told: catch cancer early. Then you go down to catch it early and they make you wait three weeks for an appointment. That's the difference between what we're told and actuality.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick."

The remedy is worse than the disease.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine