HUMOR QUOTES

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide

Alone: In bad company.

Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. 

He who constantly swims in the ocean loves dry land.

I myself smoke, but my wife asked me to speak today on the harmfulness of tobacco, so what can I do? If it’s tobacco, then let it be tobacco.

It’s immoral to steal, but you can take things.