GEORGE CARLIN QUOTES

“No comment” is a comment.

“One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food

And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.